Today, Michael came into my school band camp. We were rehearsing for our summer season tour. Not that I don’t enjoy band, I love it. It’s one of the only things I feel good about in my life. Most of the time. Last year, I was in the band and I had overdosed on acetaminophen twice on our summer tour. I didn’t feel like I belonged. I felt so out of place and unimportant. My home life was hard enough. Band being a second family, I felt that I was just tearing myself to pieces. I came from a broken family. I grew to learn that family isn’t always there when you need it the most. No one really is. This year, I was still contemplating suicide. I was in a bad relationship that left me crushed, home wasn’t any better, counselors were only temporary relief from the pain and all this brought my grades down because I couldn’t concentrate on anything else but the pain. I was actually going to commit suicide on Christmas Eve this year because I felt there was no hope. Until the minute Michael started speaking.
“FAMILY: Forget About Me, I Love You.” is what stuck out the most to me. Band is a family. No matter how small your part is, you’re still important to the rest of the band. Even if you play the exact same part as someone else, you’re still important, because without you there, the song won’t sound the same. He told us to pay attention to the small things and notice them. Notice those who are having a bad day, notice the details in someone’s face, if they’re okay right now, notice them and accept them and love them.
“If you’re one of those people who wants to be noticed, stand up.” He said. More than half the band stood. Including me. It was then that I realized that we aren’t very strong on our own. Together though, we are family.
My band director told us to go shake hands with Michael as a thank you. I hugged him tightly and cried into his shirt. That was not a thank you enough for how he impacted me.
Michael, if you’re reading this, thank you so very very much. You’ve reminded me that family is true love and without you coming in today, I probably wouldn’t have considered stopping the hurt I do towards myself. I’m still broken. But you’ve shown me that broken pieces don’t mean it’s un-fixable.
I came from a broken family. And with those broken pieces, I created an entirely new masterpiece. The band family. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.
“This is my family. I found it, all on my own. It’s little and broken, but still good. Yeah, still good” -Stitch