Our Access52 experience, I will never forget…

By October 24, 2014Your Stories

You came to my school a couple days ago, and it was an amazing experience.

You had visited us before, but the impact didn’t really settle in. I honestly doubt it settled in with the rest of the students at the school. But I can tell you that I was inspired with every story you told.

 

The main reason I came onto this site is to tell you that you stopped me before we went for Nutrition Break. And you introduced yourself to me, asked my name, and told me I’m beautiful. I just smiled at you and thanked you before immediately exiting the gym. Mostly because I cried the second I was out the door. I’m rarely told I am beautiful, or that I matter at all, really. Majority of the people in my grade  don’t care about me, or don’t like me. Today I had to do something as a volunteer for the school and stood up in front of the entire school with my small group, something I am used to doing, and can do easily. But I glanced over to my grade, and… they were all laughing. After the event, when I got back to homeroom, I was mocked. Over and over. and over. I got home and opened my Instagram. Rude comments. From people that are in my class! People, who I face almost every day. To be honest, everyone sees me as a generally happy person that just takes all the shots at me in a joking matter. But really, I don’t. I self-harm and have suicidal tendencies. I’ve been that way for years now. My parents verbally abused me for a few years, and the people I saw at school were not much better. I feel so alone sometimes. I have anxiety because I’ve become so paranoid that someone’s going to call me a rude name, or mock me again, or hurt me. I’m always afraid. But, when I was talking to you, I felt like I could really trust you. Our conversation wasn’t that important or anything, but I still felt special.

 

When I got home, I told my mom almost every story you told us, and the messages you put along with them. Our Access 52 experience is definitely something I will never forget. Thank you so much for impacting my life in a way that I am sure to make a change. I just want to say to you, that you are an amazing person, and that I will always be thankful to you.

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